I think when we're in school/college, the thing that binds us with the people who surround us are assignments, events etc. But things change as we grow old. We are no longer working on the same things, thus the interaction between friends naturally reduces and it's absolutely okay.
Some of the closest friends in my emergency contact list are still the ones I made in school. Not all stay, but you have to learn to value the ones who value you and let go of the ones who pull you down.
Exactly!! Bonding over shared lived experience is normal! And as our values, tasks, and current focus in life changes, so will some of our friendships. Our friends will reflect who we are in any given moment (otherwise, they will not feel aligned).
Great article. I have experienced a number of variations of this throughout my twenties and early thirties (and sadly a few friendships ended abruptly and bitterly which forced me to question myself).
I have a handful of close friends now but am finding that some of my most supportive friends now have completely different lifestyles and priorities combined with distance is making it really hard. I can really resonate to what you said about this relationships feeling disappointing and frustrating which adds to feelings of guilt for no longer feeling very aligned.
I do get insecure when some people, such as my brother, is still extremely close to his childhood friends (even though we have both moved around a lot).
I think maybe I need to trust the process, honour where I am (raising young children) and believe that friendships will ebb and flow as they should, l’ll attract the right friendships into my life 🩷
Thank you so much for responding. Beautifully said and I think many people will be able to relate. I personally don't have many childhood friends and I think that's a result of moving around a lot and growing apart. I think people's definition of friendship, their needs, and pure luck (do you grow into similar people, have kids at the same time, geography, etc.) will make it more or less likely to stay with the same group of friends.
Life changes & this also changes the people you’re friends with. Lifestyle, jobs, distance, families.. these are all normal circumstances that change a friendship dynamic. Even going from single to taken! I’ve had to understand this over the years, esp as I’m reaching 40.
Very astute commentary~ I feel number 5 especially hard since a friend and I just grew apart as she focused more on social aspects of life and I studying. You've explained such an occurrence, and a few others, quite well!
I think when we're in school/college, the thing that binds us with the people who surround us are assignments, events etc. But things change as we grow old. We are no longer working on the same things, thus the interaction between friends naturally reduces and it's absolutely okay.
Some of the closest friends in my emergency contact list are still the ones I made in school. Not all stay, but you have to learn to value the ones who value you and let go of the ones who pull you down.
Exactly!! Bonding over shared lived experience is normal! And as our values, tasks, and current focus in life changes, so will some of our friendships. Our friends will reflect who we are in any given moment (otherwise, they will not feel aligned).
Great article. I have experienced a number of variations of this throughout my twenties and early thirties (and sadly a few friendships ended abruptly and bitterly which forced me to question myself).
I have a handful of close friends now but am finding that some of my most supportive friends now have completely different lifestyles and priorities combined with distance is making it really hard. I can really resonate to what you said about this relationships feeling disappointing and frustrating which adds to feelings of guilt for no longer feeling very aligned.
I do get insecure when some people, such as my brother, is still extremely close to his childhood friends (even though we have both moved around a lot).
I think maybe I need to trust the process, honour where I am (raising young children) and believe that friendships will ebb and flow as they should, l’ll attract the right friendships into my life 🩷
Thank you so much for responding. Beautifully said and I think many people will be able to relate. I personally don't have many childhood friends and I think that's a result of moving around a lot and growing apart. I think people's definition of friendship, their needs, and pure luck (do you grow into similar people, have kids at the same time, geography, etc.) will make it more or less likely to stay with the same group of friends.
“Believe that friendships ebb and flow as they should”—what wise words well put!
Once I realized and accepted the 'ebb + flow' I knew peace with these relationships...
Life changes & this also changes the people you’re friends with. Lifestyle, jobs, distance, families.. these are all normal circumstances that change a friendship dynamic. Even going from single to taken! I’ve had to understand this over the years, esp as I’m reaching 40.
So true 🩷
Very astute commentary~ I feel number 5 especially hard since a friend and I just grew apart as she focused more on social aspects of life and I studying. You've explained such an occurrence, and a few others, quite well!
Such an emphatic read. Thank you for sharing!!
Wow, really needed to hear this. Thank you