Thank you for sharing this sister. In 2019 I was at a retreat in Ireland and a couple days in a few people had shed tears and had revelations and nothing had happened for me. I realised I was totally numb to all feeling. I had no idea how I felt about anything at that point. I was numb to life because feeling nothing was better than feeling everything. A lot of my childhood was filled with anger and frustration so feeling nothing was better. As I began to lean in more the emotions started to defrost I noticed a lot of anger and sadness beneath the surface. The more I’ve taken the time to lean in to them, the more they evaporate. Feeling is healing. This is a journey. Some days will more difficult than others but that’s ok. We’re human. It isn’t a linear experience. Ps - whoever reads this I hope some unexpected magic and miracles find you 💫❤️🙏🏽
Thank you so much for sharing! Yes, being numb does sometimes (often) feel easier than feeling everything–especially emotions we don't feel comfortable with. And, absolutely, truly facing our emotions is not easy and learning how to do it is not linear. It's all part of being human. But if we avoid the "bad' feelings we are also limiting the understanding of our life experience.
The "feeling nothing was better than feeling everything" part. That's where I am right now, disassociated; everything frozen except for the longing for my heart to once again warm, to be able to defrost like yours managed to do. That's where the Grace part steps in I suppose, with everything happening all in due timing
I felt numbness for the first time in my life almost two years ago. I think I always try to fight it like to said but sometimes, you just have to feel the numbness to know how much you appreciate 'feeling'. For me, acknowledgement is always the first step. When I know that I need to reverse the feeling of numbness, I automatically slow down and lean to the comforting things in life.
Thank you for this! I disassociated a couple of times in my life & I’m taking steps to never let it happen again. Your book helped me so much create strategies to always remember to stay connected to my Self & not allow myself to fall into self betrayal patterns or disassociation.
Don't you love how our culture is opening up around trauma? Now more of us can learn about our human tendencies to numb out, dissociate, and avoid. Took me half a lifetime to become besties with my self-sabotaging protective parts. Your tips for soothing are vital for this shadow-y business! I'm new to your work (I was raised by a therapist, so highly avoidant :) I look forward to more. Thank you.
I resist numbness by knowing experiences, emotions and feelings are NOT all bad, And I will NOT allow them to get the best of me. It takes my compassion to feel empathy and make a difference in people's lives and in our large world. Sara you just quoted what numbness can do to a person and you just taught us the effects of having a closed off heart and the results is garbage, its like your NOT a human being, or even alive. Truth be told, that can really be scary. I personally know people like this, so with me being a Christian Minister they're on numerous prayer list right now, hopefully to keep them out of some facilities and institutions. One of my teachers/instructors taught me, "Whoso removeth stones shall be hurt therewith; and he that cleaveth wood shall be endangered thereby." Life does have risk, but our wisdom, teachings and insight helps us lower the risk of danger to ourselves and others, this crystallized knowlege helps us be grateful we are NOT with a ex like you say Sara, and it helps us keep the boundaries up to keep them from coming back. I know and understand I have a lot to offer, so I'm living life, or chopping wood so to speak, doing my thing, taking steps to avoid unnecessary trouble, but if I don't allow myself to feel emotions my Creator created me with, I'm NO different from a flower, that has life but NO emotions. Good healthy emotions, help us enjoy life and love, giving and receiving love. What sane human being dont want to be loved or give love? Yes that was a rhetorical question, everyone want to be and give love unless you have a mental illness a Doctor/ Psychiatrist can try to help you with. My mentor Bishop Jakes just taught me the importance of having a spouse who have a high EQ- Emotional Quotient is very important. Once again having a good and pure hurt can compel us to make a difference. It's purpose fueled by passion, something I think we all need and can enjoy.
Thank you for sharing this sister. In 2019 I was at a retreat in Ireland and a couple days in a few people had shed tears and had revelations and nothing had happened for me. I realised I was totally numb to all feeling. I had no idea how I felt about anything at that point. I was numb to life because feeling nothing was better than feeling everything. A lot of my childhood was filled with anger and frustration so feeling nothing was better. As I began to lean in more the emotions started to defrost I noticed a lot of anger and sadness beneath the surface. The more I’ve taken the time to lean in to them, the more they evaporate. Feeling is healing. This is a journey. Some days will more difficult than others but that’s ok. We’re human. It isn’t a linear experience. Ps - whoever reads this I hope some unexpected magic and miracles find you 💫❤️🙏🏽
Thank you so much for sharing! Yes, being numb does sometimes (often) feel easier than feeling everything–especially emotions we don't feel comfortable with. And, absolutely, truly facing our emotions is not easy and learning how to do it is not linear. It's all part of being human. But if we avoid the "bad' feelings we are also limiting the understanding of our life experience.
🙏 ❤️
Thanks for taking the time to read this Holly. I’m curious, what resonated the most with you and what’s on your heart right now?
The "feeling nothing was better than feeling everything" part. That's where I am right now, disassociated; everything frozen except for the longing for my heart to once again warm, to be able to defrost like yours managed to do. That's where the Grace part steps in I suppose, with everything happening all in due timing
Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this Holly. It won’t last forever ❤️
I've been there. That longing is powerful and life changing, hold on to it <3
I totally understand this.
YESSSSS!
Such a brilliant piece of writing Sarah 💖
Awe, so kind of you to say! My heart is so happy that it resonates!! <3
Thank you for this. 💜
Thank you for reading <3
thank you for putting complex emotions in simple terms and for providing us readers with actionable steps
I am so glad you enjoyed the read. Thank you for being here!
thank you for caring about and for your readers
I felt numbness for the first time in my life almost two years ago. I think I always try to fight it like to said but sometimes, you just have to feel the numbness to know how much you appreciate 'feeling'. For me, acknowledgement is always the first step. When I know that I need to reverse the feeling of numbness, I automatically slow down and lean to the comforting things in life.
Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you for this! I disassociated a couple of times in my life & I’m taking steps to never let it happen again. Your book helped me so much create strategies to always remember to stay connected to my Self & not allow myself to fall into self betrayal patterns or disassociation.
Thank you 🙏
Don't you love how our culture is opening up around trauma? Now more of us can learn about our human tendencies to numb out, dissociate, and avoid. Took me half a lifetime to become besties with my self-sabotaging protective parts. Your tips for soothing are vital for this shadow-y business! I'm new to your work (I was raised by a therapist, so highly avoidant :) I look forward to more. Thank you.
🙏❤️
I resist numbness by knowing experiences, emotions and feelings are NOT all bad, And I will NOT allow them to get the best of me. It takes my compassion to feel empathy and make a difference in people's lives and in our large world. Sara you just quoted what numbness can do to a person and you just taught us the effects of having a closed off heart and the results is garbage, its like your NOT a human being, or even alive. Truth be told, that can really be scary. I personally know people like this, so with me being a Christian Minister they're on numerous prayer list right now, hopefully to keep them out of some facilities and institutions. One of my teachers/instructors taught me, "Whoso removeth stones shall be hurt therewith; and he that cleaveth wood shall be endangered thereby." Life does have risk, but our wisdom, teachings and insight helps us lower the risk of danger to ourselves and others, this crystallized knowlege helps us be grateful we are NOT with a ex like you say Sara, and it helps us keep the boundaries up to keep them from coming back. I know and understand I have a lot to offer, so I'm living life, or chopping wood so to speak, doing my thing, taking steps to avoid unnecessary trouble, but if I don't allow myself to feel emotions my Creator created me with, I'm NO different from a flower, that has life but NO emotions. Good healthy emotions, help us enjoy life and love, giving and receiving love. What sane human being dont want to be loved or give love? Yes that was a rhetorical question, everyone want to be and give love unless you have a mental illness a Doctor/ Psychiatrist can try to help you with. My mentor Bishop Jakes just taught me the importance of having a spouse who have a high EQ- Emotional Quotient is very important. Once again having a good and pure hurt can compel us to make a difference. It's purpose fueled by passion, something I think we all need and can enjoy.
Resistance to me is crying like a fucking toddler, but also using that Rilke quote as a mantra:
“No feeling is final.”