Don’t let life numb you.

Self-soothing techniques

How are you? Fine.

How are you? I don’t know.

How are you? Numb.

I am noticing that people are becoming numb to their everyday experiences, and how could they not? No person “should” be able to deal with the amount we have been served. There is only so much we can bite off before we begin to choke.

Yes, we should stay in touch with how we feel, but I also understand that we can’t always feel everything.

People tend to oscillate between deep emotional responses and a sense of nothingness. We are aware of the risk of becoming overwhelmed. But what about the risk of becoming numb? It’s a coping mechanism, but also the very thing that disconnects us from each other and our own sense of Self. Being numb takes away our capacity to experience and indulge in life.

Being numb is something I personally try to resist. It’s my form of rebellion.

My inner dialogue sounds something like this:

“F*ck you (whatever the you is in that moment)! You have caused pain, but you will not take away my capacity to feel my life or be my Self. That would be your victory, and I won’t give it to you. As long as I feel, you lose.”

Part of my healing journey was retaliation against my numbness and sense of “nothingness”. I knew that my early childhood trauma of living through wars made me numb. I also knew that I didn’t want to allow it to rob me of my human experience (it took almost 20 years before I came to this realization).

Bessel A. van der Kolk, in his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, says:

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” (p.97)”

It’s hard to remain open and not allow life to harden or close us off. To stay connected to our own lives (and pain that sometimes comes with it). Most of us decide to recoil because it feels too threatening to expose ourselves to existence.

And yet, this is how we preserve our humanity. This is how we don’t let the bad shit win. This is how we don’t let it change, mould, and drain us of who we are.

This is not to say that we shouldn’t be gentle and patient; that we shouldn’t protect ourselves, pace ourselves, and set boundaries. But permanently coping by numbing and disconnecting from Self and others can lead to more suffering such as meaninglessness and self-loss. 

It’s important to figure out how much you can tolerate–how open you can be while staying rooted and safe.

This is a big task, and it’s essential to be equipped with self-soothing practices. Here are some suggestions:

• Take a hot shower

• Mediate

• Journal

• Practice deep breathing

• Go for a walk

• Put on comfy clothing

• Listen to your favorite song

• Light some candles

• Hug a loved one

In the comments, let me how you’re resisting your numbness?

My book has been out for a MONTH now. Surreal. Thank you to all who have supported my work–none of this would be possible without you x Also, if you want to learn a bit more about my personal story, grab a copy!