Stop feeding your relationships with crumbs

We all know that crumbs aren’t enough for a meal – or even an adequate snack. And yet, it’s what we often offer those closest to us. Without realizing it, we starve one another by giving the bare minimum, or even less.

If you are wondering why your relationship seems to be suffering, the intimacy is withering, and your connection with your partner has decreased, this is probably it.

It's common for us to offer the least to those closest to us. It doesn’t make sense, but when we feel safe, familiar and perhaps a dash entitled, we also start to feel that we don’t need to put as much effort into the things we already have. This doesn't apply to just romantic relationships –but also family, friends and colleagues.

So many of us are drained from work, forced happy hour interactions, weekly spin class, or carrying the mental load of the household. So  we have nothing left to give to those we love. Even if we wanted to, we couldn't.

It's essential to have a life and ambitions outside of relationships. Still, we must also be acutely aware of how our daily actions impact the dynamics we are trying to nurture. We must remember to save enough to enable us to still give –  our time, attention, love and support – to those who mean the most to us (and oursleves).

What appears to be the priority if you look at your monthly schedule? What do you want the focus to be?

We obviously can't spend as much time with our partners or siblings as we do at a job. But, it's not so much about quantity as it is about intention and quality of the time spent together.

Examples of full-blown meals for all types of relationships:

• Learning something new together

• Checking in

• Listening (truly and wholeheartedly)

• Helping around the house

• Buying a colleague lunch (cause they were glued to their desk)

• Surprising your partner with a blanket fort and pizza

• Giving someone space to express themselves

• Putting your phone away when spending time with friends or family

What else would you add? Leave a comment!

A great way to connect and nurture intimacy is through conversation. Having novel conversations helps spark a connection in a relationship. If you're out of ideas, this digital deck from OURS can help you (this is not sponsored, I just think it’s really freaken cool!).