Reflecting on Past Attachments: A Lesson in Grief and Bravery

"An ex-boyfriend that I'm grateful I'm no longer with"

I’ve been looking for a new project recently that would light my soul on fire (in a positive kind of way). Since I was 17, I assumed this one thing (yes, I am being really cool and mysterious) would be the thing I would eventually want to do when I got the chance. It was a nice safety net; a goal or direction that I always had in my back packet. And then, when the time came and this dream became an actual possibility, I had to stop and really ask my Self:

Do I want this or is it just easier to keep believing that I want this?

Sometimes, we become so attached to [fill in the blank] that life seems inconceivable without it. We become so determent that we forget to pause and reevaluate if this current version of us still wants or needs the thing we are desperately holding on to.

During my personal “reevaluation” of a particular idea/goal, I had this conversation with a friend:

Friend: "What are you feeling?"

Me: "I feel like I am looking at an ex-boyfriend that I'm grateful I'm no longer with."

Friend: "Really?!"

Me: "I can see the charm. I can see the allure. I can even see why I used to love it, but it no longer resonates. It no longer fits. It no longer feels right... I wish it did. That way, I would know what to do next."

Friend: "I'm so proud of you."

Letting go is challenging. Period.

There is something intimidating about letting go of a person, thing, or dream when you have no idea what's waiting for you on the other side. The fear of releasing something without a clear replacement is all too real. This is why so many of us yearn to find that "next" thing before we can admit that our current situation, relationship, goal, or version of who we are, is no longer serving us.

And, once we finally admit this to our Selves, we are struck with grief that comes from something familiar suddenly feeling distant, alien, or estranged.

Letting go happens in the tension between grief and bravery.

Remember that.

Updates/Recommendations:

• If you haven’t yet, check out my book “It’s One Me”. Soon, I’ll be offering a book club! Who doesn’t love a good book club?

• Also, are you interested in learning how to journal? Should I offer a weekly guide on here??

• A friend of mine just started a kick ass substack

  Love Weekly with Jillian Turecki

• Another friend of mine,

  Michell C. Clark
  just published a book– WHOO! Eyes on the Road, check it out!