Maybe you’re not where and who you want to be.
Let's have a chat.
So much of mainstream self-help and wellness content is one endless stream of affirmations. These platitudes comfort people, telling us that wherever we are in life we are “meant” to be there. They pat us on the back for being exactly who we are.
I get it. The sentiment is really comforting, but what if – and stay with me for a moment – this isn't always true?
Sometimes we need to change, sometimes we need to grow, and sometimes we need to get out of a job, relationship, or situation. Sometimes what is happening to us wasn't "meant" for us – but is just a consequence of our decisions.
Sure, everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is you.
It’s an unnerving thought, isn’t it?
The issue of thinking that everything is always as it "should" be is that:
it robs us of responsibility for the life we live
it can make us feel like a different reality is not in the cards for us
it can become an excuse for not creating change
it can evoke feelings of shame for the dissatisfaction we feel
it can make us feel powerless
it can make life feel meaningless
Having an uncomfortable realization that sometimes things are not "right" will hopefully lead to change. Maybe you've noticed a pattern of hurting people, maybe you keep making the same mistakes, or perhaps you just don't like yourself. You don’t have to keep being this version of yourself. You can make decisions to course correct. You can start figuring out who you are and why you're here.
Agree 💯. Sometimes we need to be more realistic about our circumstances in order to grow out of them.
Also another one for me I see ALL of the time is, “A year ago you would be proud of how far you’ve come.” “When you have a bad day remember younger you would be so proud of where you are now.” But what if you’re in a place you don’t want to be, what if everything just fell apart in the last year, and younger you wouldn’t be so proud?😆
I agree, positive affirmations are not always the answer. They work because what you are telling yourself eventually becomes false if you don't follow through on what you are affirming. However, if you have been alive for 20-45 years and have this horrible, negative self-image and constant poor internal dialogue then repeating positive affirmations is not actually going to change how you view yourself. It's one thing to say affirmations out loud and it's another thing to actually believe in what you are saying to yourself. Self love and liking who you are takes action. You have to take actual steps towards who we want to be. Self love and healing takes consistent action to build self belief and confidence.