"What If, Why Not, and What Now?"

Late-night thoughts

I recently flew from DC to Frankfurt and, due to my last-minute booking habits, ended up in 37F. Yes, 37F—the “luxurious” seat in the back-middle cabin, conveniently located right next to the toilets. If the smell wasn’t enough, the real highlight was being sandwiched between two people who apparently felt entitled to my armrests and my leg space. At one point, I woke from a fleeting nap to realize I had approximately zero inches of personal space. My legs were trapped, arms glued to my sides—I felt claustrophobic, annoyed, exhausted.

Funny how a cramped airplane seat can feel a lot like life sometimes. We often feel boxed in, running out of options. So, instead of getting increasingly irritated, I decided to journal about it. I pulled out my phone, opened my notes app, and let my mind wander.

Late-night thoughts:

What ifs. What if I’d booked earlier? What if I wasn’t sitting next to that person? What if my family had stayed in Serbia? What if, what if, what if. The “what ifs” are such an energy drain. We’ll never know what might have happened if we made a different choice or had been thrown into a different context—and, truthfully, it’s completely irrelevant.

You can’t change what happened, but you do have some power over which experiences you may or may not want to repeat. Maybe we can release some of the “what ifs” and focus on the “not agains.” So, what did you learn from sitting in 37F? And next time—will you book the flight earlier, or splurge for the astronomical upgrade?

Why not. I also thought about life’s “why nots.” For instance, I could have woken my neighbors up and asked them to kindly retreat their limbs. Why not? Why not send that email, take that risk, or put yourself out there? We frequently say it’s because we “can’t,” but often, it’s that we don’t want to face the consequences or discomfort of those actions. So next time you feel stuck, ask yourself: “Can I truly not change this situation, or do I just not want to because of what it might involve?”

What now. This might be my favorite question. After all the theorizing and daydreaming, what are you actually going to do? Me, I decided to tough it out in my seat for the next seven hours—probably not the best choice, 0/10, wouldn’t recommend. Life may give us uncomfortable situations (or seats), but we get to decide our response, however limited our options might be. What will you do?

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Take or leave my airplane analogy, but maybe give some thought to your “what ifs,” “why nots,” and “what nows.” After all, as Epictetus said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

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