What do we want more than anything?

Thoughts and Journaling Questions

What do humans want, above all else?

It depends on whom you ask. Most people will say belonging, connection, and some fellow existentialists will say meaning. But I think what we want goes beyond any and all of those things.

What if all we really want is to feel alive?

Most people are asked to live a very obedient and prescribed life, handed to us by society, culture, or family. We tread through expectations, pressures, and demands in an attempt to survive. But that's exactly what happens; we end up merely surviving rather than living. We might have blood pumping through our veins and air occupying our lungs but we can feel numb, hollow, and dead just the same.

What if we acknowledged the disconnect and numbness that inevitably settle and threaten our very existence and start to understand some of our extreme choices and behaviour as a retaliation?

I find myself compassionately watching people repeat cycles of bad relationships, indulge a little too hard in alcohol and drugs, neglect their bodies, or make financially impulsive purchases they can't afford. I curiously observe symptoms of what could be characterized as a mid-life crisis: an expensive car, a sudden career change, a young mistress, the inevitable plunge towards divorce. But, if I was being honest, I wasn’t initially compassionate nor curious until I felt the threat of nothingness myself. I didn’t fully understand their behaviors until I did.

What if these actions are not symptomatic of boredom or “stupidity” but rather represent our fight for survival?