Struggling to make decisions: Are you waiting for clarity or courage?

I used to think that clarity was what most people needed to make a big decision. But now I’m not so sure.

In my experience—both personally and as a therapist—clarity is rarely the missing piece. Most people know. Maybe not consciously, maybe not out loud, but deep down (or sometimes deep, deep down).

We just don’t want to admit it.
Because knowing means choosing. And choosing often means change or loss.

I’ve come to believe that what we’re actually waiting for isn’t clarity at all. It’s courage. We’re waiting to become the kind of person who can do the hard thing. The kind of person who can say, This isn’t right for me anymore. Or I need to let this go. Or even I was wrong.

And so we say we’re confused. We repeat the story until it starts to sound convincing: I just don’t know what to do. But if we’re honest? We do. We’ve known for a while. We just haven’t been ready to act on that knowing. Because acting on it would mean grieving what could have been. It might mean disappointing others, breaking a pattern, starting over. It might mean finally facing the parts of ourselves we’ve been avoiding. And that’s terrifying.

I get it. I’ve been there.
And still, I want to offer you this:

You don’t have to feel 100% ready to do the right thing. You just have to take one honest step in the direction of your inner knowing. One step toward alignment. Courage doesn’t usually arrive before the decision—it shows up because of it. You find your bravery in the doing, not the waiting.

So maybe ask yourself, gently:

• What have I already decided, deep down, that I’m pretending not to know?

• And what would happen if I trusted that knowing… just enough to take the first step?

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I had my matcha from this cup this morning and it put a smile on my face – thought I would share!