Monkey Bars Phenomenon

The Space Between Holding On and Moving On

People often have a tendency to hold onto things — relationships, jobs, friendships, even weekend plans — longer than they should. We cling, not necessarily because they still nourish us, but because we are afraid of what might happen if we let go before we have something else to grab onto.

I call this the Monkey Bars Phenomenon.

Think of a child at the playground: they grasp one bar tightly, unwilling to release it until their fingers are securely wrapped around the next. It’s only once we feel the certainty of the next thing — the next love, the next opportunity, the next adventure — that we allow ourselves to let go of what no longer serves us.

And it makes sense.

If we were to let go without assurance, without the safety net of what’s next, we would risk falling — into uncertainty, into loneliness, into the unknown. It feels safer, almost necessary, to cling to the familiar, even when it quietly errodes us.

But what if the real growth — the real living — happens in that terrifying gap between letting go and grabbing on?

What if falling isn't failing, but trusting that we can survive the spaces in between?

That we can dangle, free and untethered, for a moment longer than feels comfortable — and still be okay?

Maybe life isn’t about always having the next thing lined up. Maybe it’s about learning to rest in the in-between, to let ourselves feel the air rushing past us, to trust that sometimes the only way to move forward is to loosen our grip.

Not because we know exactly what's coming next.
But because we trust ourselves enough to leap anyway.

Reflection Questions
(For when you're ready to sit with the in-between)

• What am I currently holding onto out of fear, rather than love or alignment?

• If I trusted myself fully, what would I let go of today?

• What part of me believes I need certainty before I can move forward?

• How have I grown in moments when I didn’t know what was coming next?

• What might become possible if I allowed myself to rest in uncertainty, even briefly?

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