We all have habits. Some we build intentionally, while others we develop passively, almost accidentally. Regardless of the degree of intention, our habits significantly impact our lives, relationships, and well-being. If you develop a habit of drinking a glass (or bottle) of wine every night or eating in front of a screen, it will impact your life differently than if you develop a habit of moving your body or reading five pages before bed.
Most of us see habits as goals – as activities and frequencies we want to achieve. But I think it's more helpful to approach goals as positions we take toward our existence.
What are some habits that can change our relationships with our selves and enhance our well-being?
Listening to your intuition: Make it a habit to check in with yourself before doing something (anything). Just like your habit of calling friends before making a decision, let's practice asking our selves what “feels” right, reflecting on what we want, and exploring what aligns.
Being honest: Get in the habit of speaking your truth: telling people what you want, what you like and don't like, what you need, and what you feel. Not everyone needs to know everything about us, but monitoring our degree of disclosure doesn’t mean we can lie through omission. That kind of dishonesty violates our relationship with ourselves and hurts our relationships with others.
Validating your emotions: We don’t want emotions to dictate our lives, but we should acknowledge and accept our feelings. Our emotions have value. Be gentle with yourself. Get in the habit of taking your feelings seriously.
Setting boundaries: Setting boundaries can be difficult. But if it becomes a habit, you are more likely to do it when the situation arises. Realizing that boundaries can strengthen our relationships (with our self or others) can also encourage us to make setting them a habit.
Taking responsibility: Maybe the most important of habits, taking responsibility for our actions and relationships is key. We can only gain power over our lives when we genuinely accept responsibility for the way we live. Understanding that we’re responsible for everything we do gives us power over every choice we make.
It's on you to take responsibility for your own existence.
Let’s take a quick moment to reflect:
What habits do you have but want to change?
What habits do not align with who you are and who you want to be?
What habits do you want to develop?
COMING UP:
Paid subscription: In the upcoming weeks I’ll be exploring the topics of “death/fear of death,” signs of healing, AND I’ll hopefully be sending a little excerpt/quotes from my book.
Book: My book “It’s On Me” is coming out in little over a month September 19, 2023! Whaaaat?! If you’re tired of repeating patterns, struggling to make decisions, having unfulfilling relationships, or feeling empty – check it out.
Amazing questions to reflect to, thank you.
I love this brilliant post!! It made sense and struck chords in my soul!!!
It made me create my own account instead of just reading your brief emails.
You inspire, you are appreciated.
Be kind, be well.