Embracing the goodbyes

Journaling Challenge

So many of us will do just about anything to avoid the feeling of loss. This is because we are often scared of three things: 

1. The feeling of emptiness that comes with loss. 

2. The feeling of grief that accompanies loss.

3. The deconstruction and reconstruction of identity. Whenever we experience a loss, we must reconcile who we were pre- and post-loss. Most of us, for example, hold on to relationships not because we want to be in them but because we might not know who we are outside of them. The same goes with holding on to a job, friends, and geographical location. Anything that has bled into our identity. 

The only way to stop being reactive to the possibility of loss is to realize that loss is inevitable. Every time we choose something, we have chosen not to experience something else. Every time we decide to be in a relationship, we choose not to have the experience of being single, and every time we decide to be single, we forfeit the experience of being in a relationship. Whenever we decide to watch a movie at home, we choose not to sleep, go for a walk, read a book, hang out with friends, etc. Whenever we decide to be around people who make us feel bad about ourselves, we choose not to be around people who will respect, celebrate, and support who we are.